Siripala: I divorced my wife on the 1st night.
Friend: Why?
Siripala: I saw the label on her panty, "Tested OK by Gunapala & Sons."

Siripala: Yaar my wife is very scared of water.
Friend: How did you know?
Siripala: Twice when I got home I saw her having a bath with the security guard.

The Nurse was taking a blood sample from siripala. She held his finger and squeesed for blood. So Siripala laughed loudly.
Nurse: Why did you laugh?
Siripala: After this, it is the urine test.

Husband & wife are having dinner together.
Wife: Darling, tell me something that would make me both happy & sad.
Husband: Your nipples are better than your sister's!

On the first night of the marraige the husband gives the wife Rs.5000 and says
" I have never done this for free"
Wife returns rs.2000 and says
"I have not charged more than this before"