STORY 1
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother gently rubbed cold cream on her face. "Why are you rubbing cold cream on your face, Mommy?" he asked."To make myself beautiful," said his mother. A few minutes later, she began removing the cream with a tissue."What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"

STORY 2
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in marithmetic."Why?" asks the father."The teacher asked 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said 6. "But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'"What's the fuXXing difference?" asks the father."That's what I said!"